Magazine


SOAPBOX: Katy decides to tell Martin The Truth

by Rachel Broady
7/ 4/2005

CORONATION STREET Kateh returns to the Street in a black cab and, unable to live with her guilt, pigs out on a bag of sugar after destroying her insulin cartridges. She knows the sugar will kill her, leaving us wondering why her mam didn't make her a Congratulations on Killing Your Dad cake with double icing. She is found unconscious by Martin, and rushed to hospital, where he clutches a letter marked The Truth but decides not to read it until she recovers. I doubt it reads: "I never fancied you, you look like a frog."

And to celebrate the Street's 6000th episode we finally get to see the back of Ray Langton but for some reason, in the Rovers, Shelleh asks Ciaran and Charleh to be sensitive to the customers despite the Rovers regulars being as sensitive as bears' bums.

There's no time for sentimentality when the family assemble Ray's flat-packed coffin.

There's another reality check when Leanne and Danny admit if thing were different they could probably fancy each other as much as they fancy themselves.

And then Steve beds that silly woman he met in the park leaving Traceh with more misery.

EMMERDALE The Kings are in turmoil as Jimmy is welcomed back into the fold leaving Matthew spitting feathers. With all this bitching they should be called the Queens.

Meanwhile Sadie Kensit is in the background trying to get every penny she can out of the men who let her down. She soon hits rock bottom, though, and this inevitably leads to her heading to bed with Robert.

But things are looking up for Nicola who has finally beaten Simon into submission and he agrees to move into the village. Will they now sell only fish in the Woolpack?

EASTENDERS They should change the Eastenders theme to Tony Blair's favourite tune when he won the 1997 election because Things Can Only Get Better. Johnny Allan must be exhausted carrying the storylines and entire cast on his back.

He'll on up on benefits like Keith "I've found a job on the over-staffed market" Miller.

It's the anniversary of Mark's arrival in The Bill so Pauline is all of a tizz and looks like a bulldog chewing an whole nest of wasps.


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